So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
this hospital has no fireball
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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