even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
