i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
