if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You may now shotgun with the bride
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
