Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
