I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
