Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
