so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
