i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
