i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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