lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
