so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
