You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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