also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
