i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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