Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
