the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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