I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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