oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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