In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
