my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
