batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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