so explain again why im purple
no
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
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we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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