every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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