maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
