I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.