Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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  (916): Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice http://tfl.nu/ob9j
  Replies (76) Good night (2772) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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  (778): shes about as inviting as chlamydia http://tfl.nu/iikb
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (3273)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.

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  (803): I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone. http://tfl.nu/wy7e
  Replies (14) Good night (3955) Bad night (1890)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"

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  (512): in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size" http://tfl.nu/ckqj
  Replies (35) Good night (1358) Bad night (7764)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.

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  (307): I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that. http://tfl.nu/zno7
  Replies (16) Good night (5999) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..

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  (425): there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room.. http://tfl.nu/dpny
  Replies (17) Good night (5776) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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  (513): i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week. http://tfl.nu/8le3
  Replies (14) Good night (7046) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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  (914): Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave? http://tfl.nu/fkd9
  Replies (14) Good night (3478) Bad night (1194)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!

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  (614): This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up! http://tfl.nu/jjmt
  Replies (14) Good night (6468) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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  (303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i
  Replies (4) Good night (1425) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future

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  (561): Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future http://tfl.nu/peo6
  Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.

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  (858): Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home. http://tfl.nu/rouf
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.

  (1-951): View more from California

  This is the first time I'm hearing this information.

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  (951): You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you. (1-951): This is the first time I'm hearing this information. http://tfl.nu/wdlz
  Replies (20) Good night (3744) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

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  (315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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  (512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (231)

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