Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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  (520): I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children. http://tfl.nu/78i9
  Replies (19) Good night (7485) Bad night (1681)
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  (858): View more from California

  while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

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  (858): while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go http://tfl.nu/n616
  Replies (7) Good night (3926) Bad night (790)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.

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  (604): Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge. http://tfl.nu/yomn
  Replies (10) Good night (1868) Bad night (2378)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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  (785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2388) Bad night (1224)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.

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  (705): I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there. http://tfl.nu/latd
  Replies (4) Good night (1947) Bad night (1091)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that

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  (843): I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that http://tfl.nu/xola
  Replies (7) Good night (2738) Bad night (781)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays

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  (780): So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays http://tfl.nu/zrwo
  Replies (3) Good night (1235) Bad night (647)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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  (804): time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever http://tfl.nu/4zua
  Replies (6) Good night (1573) Bad night (722)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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  (603): FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/9ddg
  Replies (6) Good night (739) Bad night (1181)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.

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  (919): Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka. http://tfl.nu/j4b1
  Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (846)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.

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  (603): I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t. http://tfl.nu/mo8v
  Replies (4) Good night (602) Bad night (284)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.

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  (458): I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/1kx8
  Replies (0) Good night (848) Bad night (287)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness

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  (484): It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness http://tfl.nu/v0sg
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (307)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat

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  (518): Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat http://tfl.nu/j39m
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (207)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.

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  (919): Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season. http://tfl.nu/m7ze
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (204)

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