Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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  (334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1189) Bad night (750)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so im guessing thats a no.....

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  (216): dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits." (814): so im guessing thats a no..... http://tfl.nu/rer4
  Replies (25) Good night (1376) Bad night (3711)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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  (404): yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you" http://tfl.nu/otku
  Replies (11) Good night (3597) Bad night (817)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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  (506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv
  Replies (17) Good night (10690) Bad night (1377)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.

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  (516): Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand. http://tfl.nu/xjsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1020) Bad night (3813)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.

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  (412): he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor. http://tfl.nu/z7yu
  Replies (34) Good night (11561) Bad night (1732)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

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  (602): Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public. http://tfl.nu/i8al
  Replies (10) Good night (1110) Bad night (1951)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2832) Bad night (1267)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...

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  (585): Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband... http://tfl.nu/78x2
  Replies (6) Good night (713) Bad night (1851)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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  (515): My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches." http://tfl.nu/3hga
  Replies (7) Good night (2028) Bad night (460)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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  (612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (392)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.

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  (412): his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on. http://tfl.nu/3l4h
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (864)
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  (650): View more from California

  He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.

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  (650): He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him. http://tfl.nu/9mw9
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (565)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.

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  (570): well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore. http://tfl.nu/w1gn
  Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (318)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE

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  (778): OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/yk8l
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (260)

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