And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
