yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
