moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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