He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
