Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
