I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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