I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
nutella sex= disaster
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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