Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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