He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize