I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
