the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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