he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.