Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.