OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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