Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
