does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
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(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
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I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
this is an emotional support booty call
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize