Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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