He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
