I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
In America we eat man semen.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
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DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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