i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize