She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
