I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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