You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
