so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
