bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
