I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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