I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize