No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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