When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize