I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
