After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just pee around me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
