In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
