I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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