Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
