put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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