Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
