the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
