She said her name was "party"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
