I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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